Reply to Caught 13 YO DD drinking w/ friends, how to handle

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[quote=Anonymous]I think three things are big contributors to this at that age:
- peer group
- opportunity
- mental heath/family dynamics that can push kids to risky behavior

You can fully restrict the “opportunity” - especially now that she’s lost your trust. No more meeting up with other kids for the foreseeable future unless you’ve talked to their parents. Must come straight home from school or go to an afterschool program until she’s earned your trust back.

Peer group is hard but worth trying to address. Others have given good suggestion. I’d look for other activities to fill her time and develop an identity outside of the crowd she’s currently spending time with.

Going too draconian with punishment can backfire - she’ll just hide behavior in future. I’d work on building two way trust while getting her to understand behavior is unacceptable and you’re on her side to get her on a better path.

I also think others are being pretty harsh. Yes, it’s young, and bad, but I have the rare 14 year old who shares all the gossip and those behaviors definitely aren’t unheard of in MCPS middle and high schools even with the “good kids”. [/quote]

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