Reply to Caught 13 YO DD drinking w/ friends, how to handle

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[quote=Anonymous]NP. I’m pretty shocked at the judgmental, mean spirited, unhelpful responses. It’s a new low even for DCUM. Imagine being a parent whose world has been turned upside down, and then hearing that they are a terrible parent whose child should be taken away from them? There is nothing actionable here.

OP, you recognize that you screwed up. You have to do better, both in terms of supervision and time spent with this child. It might mean that you have to figure out a way to get help for your SN child so you have more time. Get her into counseling. The parents could probably use parenting classes, so you know how to do better in the future.

Your child needs consequences of course. In addition to losing the phone, I would implement a ‘no electronics anywhere except in public’ policy. Absolutely no devices or computers allowed in the bedroom. She needs to do more. When she is not doing school work, she is helping at home - learning how to cook alongside you, doing laundry, cleaning, helping take care of her sister, etc. She should also be in lessons for things she’s interested in or has talents - music, art, dance, etc. Her downtime can be spent listening to music or reading, not mindlessly scrolling. Obviously no outings without adult supervision for the foreseeable future.

You can’t keep her from seeing her friends when she’s in school. If she is not distancing herself, consider a new school. But continue the supervision because these kids exist everywhere.

My DD and I know a few kids like this. For the most part, the parents are not bad people, just caught up with life and other obligations.[/quote]

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