Reply to I hate “guy trips”

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think a lot of you guys are missing that he’s also getting behind at work from these trips. My husband works a ton and works most weekends. Even 4 days visiting family he has to work or he’s stressed out and annoying for a week or more after. If he was gone drinking for 4 days and came back complaining about all the work he was behind on I would find that very annoying. I 100 percent believe that he’s unhelpful and difficult to be around for quite a few days after.

I think he’s entitled to see his friends but he’s not entitled to minimize how it affects you. I don’t have concrete suggestions about what to do (although I personally would just rather have my house in a hotel for an extra day rather than listening to any complaining - I actually encourage my husband to do similar things when he’s traveling for work) but I understand, OP. I feel these situations really emphasize to me how tightly stretched we are all the time and I wish my husband would agree and be open to making changes. But when you handle all the fall out (which I would rather do than make my kids handle it because when my husband is stressed he yells more than I’m ok with) and they refuse to change it’s very hard. [/quote]

I'm sorry, but if your husband is working a ton and working most weekends, then he better be making a ton of money. In that case, stay home, hire help, and then don't complain that he doesn't help out around the house. If you don't want him making so much money, then suggest he scale back so you can also work. Personally, I wouldn't be married to someone who worked a ton and worked most weekends, but you do you.

[/quote]

I’m the PP you are responding to. I can’t speak for OP but I don’t want to be married to someone who works these hours and especially someone who is this stressed all the time. I love my husband and hate seeing him stressed because I know it’s unpleasant for him too separate from the impact on our family. But the reality is this is the person I’m married to and have children with and while I have asked him over and over to look into other jobs even with considerably lower salaries I can’t make him take one. He took a step back  for a brief time and hated the loss of prestige- for him that is the driver not the money.

I could quit my job and be 100 percent on the clock at home and absolve my husband of any responsibility at all. My husband would not support it and has been incredibly vocal about not being the only person supporting the family. But I don’t think he’d divorce me if I did it. Maybe we will reach a breaking point and I’ll do it one of these days. In the meantime my work is incredibly supportive and wonderful and I have zero friends who are SAHMs. My kids are old enough now that the couple I knew are going back to work.

But none of that would give me what I actually want- a spouse who is happy and has a relationship with the kids that’s not at the mercy of what happened with their work that day. So I do the best I can.[/quote]

so the sum of all this is that he gets everything he wants and values ....[/quote]

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