Reply to What makes a kid popular in middle school?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There are a couple different types of “popular”.

Some kids are “popular” because they’re well respected, are nice & friendly & positive, are smart (and in a community where it’s cool to be smart), and may be very good at a couple things (a sport, music, art). They are mainstream, not dressing up or down or Goth or hip hop or Taylor sweaters. They are comfortable and have a sense of self early on in life.

Then there are the “popular” kids because they rule the roost by being fast, or controlling or act above their age. Kids with nothing to latch on to look up to that and assume it’s cool and popular. Or they are popular because they have tons of lemming followers.

We all know both. Help build your kids’ judgement.[/quote]

This is so true.

The second kind have much more power in MS and maybe freshman year of HS. At least from what I'm seeing, it seems to dissipate in HS. There were some mean girl jackasses on DD's sports team last year. They were nasty towards DD and some other girls. But none of them wanted to do the hard work required for the team, so they left. 10th grade is much better and now it's DD and other girls who care about academics and athletics. Of course some of them have boyfriends and care about fashion too, but it's not the incessant obsession over boys, critiquing other girls, etc. that happened with some girls last year.

I made sure that DD trusted her own judgment regarding who's worth being friends with and who isn't. This can be tricky territory and IME it's much more than a one-time conversation.
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