Reply to DS14 said something very rude and ungrateful during the holidays and I still don’t know if we handle it well

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Reply to "DS14 said something very rude and ungrateful during the holidays and I still don’t know if we handle it well "

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Beyond telling your son he was rude you should have told him how ashamed you were by his callous ingratitude. You should tell him that someday when he's old enough to have enough life experience and maturity he'll feel shame when he thinks about what he did and you only hope his grandfather will still be alive to offer him the sincere apology he deserves. I don't think you son is as good a person as you assume. [/quote]
I [b]think it’s a little extreme to say he’s “not a good person.” [/b] But I do think it’s a helpful incident for OP to reframe her understanding of her family’s wealth compared to her son’s. OP believes they are “not wealthy.” But her son has grown up with the perspective and outlook of a privileged, [b]wealthy child- one who doesn’t understand the value of the fact he will never, ever be burdened with student loan debt and nor will his parents. There is a HUGE divide between how OP views their family and how her son was actually brought up- he has an entitled because … well, he IS entitled. [/b]

He’s probably not a bad person. But the moment is sticking with OP because it has highlighted her cognitive dissonance. [b]She is NOT raising working or middle class kids who have an awareness of privilege and wealth and what that will do for their lives. She is raising privileged, wealthy northern Virginia kids who are acting as such[/b]. [/quote]

+1000

If OP wants to impress this upon her son, she could definitely have Grandpa give the college account to a extremely needy child (this would not have any affect unless OP makes the son take out loans/get scholarships if he wants to go to any college)

I obviously don’t expect OP to do this, but honestly there [i]is[/i] a very large cognitive dissonance here.

I am at the tail end of the millennial generation, grew up MC/average. Both sets of Grandparents were comfortably retired. (My surviving Grandma is still living comfortably in her own SFH, in a [i]very[/i] expensive city) that set of Grandparents live pretty far away so I very rarely see them, when I did they would give me multiple christmas+birthday gifts combined and combined from that side of the family—the most I ever got (mind you this was for a few years worth or birthdays and christmases) was a few hundred dollars.

My other set of Grandparents who I’d see all the time because they live close would give me around 20 dollars every Christmas and every birthday.

I’m not complaining whatsoever, they were all very generous and presents are not a requirement. But this is probably the norm even today. Definitely [i]not[/i] thousands of dollars in an account for college/your future.

Perhaps ask your child if he’d like $20 every christmas and birthday along with tens of thousands of dollars in debt for any schooling he wants to do after high school? [/quote]

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