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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sleepovers are the biggest no no once they hit high school. It is always a sneak out or doing something they shouldn’t be doing. And many parents like one on this thread are far too lax [/quote]

Meh, on the sleepover thing. I’m the PP who said I still have a wonder relationship with my parents even though they pretty strictly restricted my social life while they provided for me. Sleep overs were okay with kids who’s parents they knew and talked to and trusted, also if they were at [i]our[/i] house, and also my close-in-age family member who’s parents are still to this day more like siblings and best friends to my Mom and Dad than their own siblings are.

In general I agree though. WAY TOO lax. And also act so… helpless? JFC you guy’s are [i]their parents[/i]! It’s [i]not[/i] hard and [i]not[/i] controversial and [i]not[/i] extreme to.. take things away and ground them?… like.. society has done for decades upon decades if not hundreds of years?…

The necessities are food, shelter, education, and hygiene. The kid doesn’t need their car insurance paid for, or to get their license, or be given access to a car, or a phone, or their own laptop (computer in the family room for homework/school?…), or spending money. ESPECIALLY not if they don’t respect the rules you set or listen to you. I don’t even care about once they’re past 18, if they want these things paid for still, or college money from Mum and Dad, or for us to even cosign loans so they have the ability to go to college even just to get away from Mum and Dad—

— (which is honestly why I think wayyyy too many kids—even with non-strict parents—go to college and end up having issues with repaying their loans—and it’s quite honestly ridiculous and something our society needs to work on… “the college experience” should not be a factor in choosing a school  :roll: )

—then they obey the house rules. They don’t? They lose that extra stuff, and eventually get kicked out when they’re adults.

When they DO obey the rules?.. feel free to give them extra perks of any kind your kid enjoys. Buy new video games, give him extra spending money— jfc if your kid is an angel you can even let him have a glass of champagne when you have some sort of family event. Give them extra positive reinforcement along with the basics that so many seem to think are “necessities” these days.

When they don’t follow your rules? They can see how life was for their Grandparents/great-Parents.

YOU are the parent. YOU will only have authority in these formative years. THIS is the time to teach them. Not just frilly shit, but also that there are consequences.

And to those of you hung up on the tracking aspect alone—because being able to track them 24/7 is such a new concept and your own parents, you yourselves, and Grandparents never had it?—well technology changes—these days elementary schoolers expect a smart phone with 5g and unlimited data, expect to be able to stream shit on demand on netflix rather than have to wait week to week and if you miss when your show airs on cable? You’re just SOL.

Technology chsnges, people adapt and change with it. Times changing goes both ways. Kids expect more stuff and freeoms? They and society should also expect more strict monitoring of that stuff.

Not a hard concept, and while it may sound strict and your kids might resent you in the moment? (Mine were strict, and in the moment I definitely resented them, even though they were more strict on certain freedoms than other parents they were more lenient on others. And I appreciate all they did for me.) if *being a parent* rather than a *friend who provides for all your wants and needs* is the litmus test as to whether your children cut you off when they’re adults?… then there’s more trauma there than your what-used-to-be-normal parenting styles, you’re too insecure about whether your teenager thinks you’re cool, or your kids are just spoiled buttholes.

#end-truth-rant.[/quote]

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