Reply to DW doesn’t understand how a sexless marriage effects me

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

While you are figuring out the chemical formula your job is to drain the cortisol out of your world, once the stress is gone and she begins to associate you with joy, achievement, closeness and all the other good feelings her attitude towards you will begin to change and libido will follow shortly behind. You must never ask for it, never pester her again, don’t ever get mopey around her[.]
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You might be right for a lot of cases. But, it's incredibly tough to trust that this will actually pay dividends. Because, in the moment, working toward this feels like you're her dancing monkey that she will continue to take for granted. [/quote]

I am a firm believer in what once was can be again and what was once good can be great; that is the only thing that has kept me going on this path.  Of course there are backslides but the leaps forward leave them in the dust.

Using possible failure and frustration as an excuse to not try will get you nothing. Nothing good comes to men that wait; the businesses, inventions and advancements that we all take for granted are the direct result of someone working towards their ideal and many times betting their entire existence for its realization. Sometimes you gotta go all in. 
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But, per the previous poster, in this case you can't go all-in to try to re-ignite your sex life if re-igniting your sex life is one of your goals. The only way to have sex is not to want it. [/quote]

So you don't want to find out how your spouse might become happier, like taking her on adventures, going to the gym with her if she needs some dopamine, or becoming a world of love and support unless you're *guaranteed* sex in return? [/quote]

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