Reply to Send Mom to nursing home?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I haven't read the entire thread, but lots of it. Am I the only one that thinks OP is acting like quite the grifter here? If Mom sells her house, she can probably afford the $10,000 per month it will cost to move to a lovely  memory care unit at a good nursing facility. OP is "willing to chip in?" While she's living for free in her mom's house? I am disgusted by this whole thing, honestly.[/quote]

Largely agree with you (as have others), though I softened a bit after the most recent post. Would like to know more about OP's family's financial situation before I decide "full grifter." Also hope that the sibling is not screwed out of money by OP living in the mom's home after the mom passes.

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Largely *dis*agree with you (as have others).  OP moved in during pandemic to care for mom, has arguably put her career on hold, and has helped pay the mortgage throughout. They have paid refurbishments to the house (which they are not selling as per Mom’s wishes).  Now following some debate will bring Mom home as her condition  continues to worsen, and will help pay for her care.

The other Sister has already declared that she cannot help pay or care for mother and stands to earn money on all of this when her share of the home (which they will both inherit) is bought out.

Doesn’t sound like a grifter to me but rather someone who in many ways has been left holding the bag…which sadly happened to me with my parents.  I am very sympathetic to OP

[/quote]

Fair points. Look, I think OP came across as a bit glib in the earlier posts about sticking her mom somewhere @ $6500/month, etc. As the posts went on, she provided more detail and became more sympathetic, especially when talking about how to pursue next steps.

These situations are not easy. I know folks who moved into their parents' homes at key times w/o any prior discussion with siblings, then took the house/land for what they could and depriving their siblings of any asset accumulation. I hope OP and sibling can work it out for the benefit of their mom and for each other. [/quote]

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