Reply to Blindsided by ER bill - DD says she was "roofied"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Got an ER bill today that was a surprise. I asked DD why she was in the hospital three weeks ago. She said, "oh, I got roofied but I'm OK and I reported it to the cops."

She seemed surprised at the cost of the bill.

I'm a little floored, and I'm not sure what to make of this. This doesn't seem like something you'd hide from a parent, is it? She's  being very cavalier, "no big deal" about it, says she wasn't sexually assaulted. And she's being very secretive -- when I asked for the name of the police officer or a copy of the report she said she didn't want me involved and would handle it. It seems more like she's hiding something, and she does have a long history of elaborate lying and obfuscation about her behavior as a teen. Apparently she posted a drunk TikTok from her hospital bed -- that isn't what being "roofied" does, right? I thought it shut you down, unable to move. She's a terrible liar and I'm getting a big whiff of bullshit on her story here...

WWYD? I realize college students do stupid shit with alcohol. But if she was actually in the hospital for alcohol poisoning or something, I'm going to make her pay the bill and there's no way she's taking the car to college next year.

Is that overkill?

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A little scary, for sure. Is she a first-year? If so, this may be part of the experimentation that comes with being away from home and out of high school for the first time. My DD was a very naughty party girl as a first-year and did some really dumb stuff. By senior year -- when she turned 21 and was finally legal -- she barely drank at all. A year out of college, and she will drink ONE glass of wine on special occasions. She's concerned about the damage alcohol might do to her brain cells. I would try to educate rather than punish. Provide materials that teach her about the long-term damage alcohol can cause. She has to buy into this herself if the lesson is to take hold. Beyond that, perhaps time and maturation will work its magic.

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