Reply to DD only kid in her friend group not invited

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My dd was ditched by her group tonight. One of the girls who she knows but isn’t close to invited all the other girls to her house after tot. There wasn’t enough room in their cars so the one friend looked at my dd and said “you’re headed home now, right?” Teen girls suck. My dd is so upset she doesn’t want to face these girls at school tomorrow.[/quote]

What would have been the preferable alternative?[/quote]

Not pp but - 
Go to a place within walking distance.
Ask another parent to drive and split up into two cars. 
Trick or treat until 8:30 or 9 then everyone goes to their own home since it's a school night for most kids.
Hosting girl could have just a couple friends over so it's just not one single girl left out. Other girls could make their own plans or just go home without feeling like they are the only ones not invited [/quote]

The problem here is you’re thinking like an adult - not a teen/tween. There is not one kid on this planet that would say “you know what, let’s just all go home so no one feels left out.”[/quote]

DP here but the pp's list is what the adults should be teaching.

I don't get this pretzeling to justify leaving one person out or not teaching your child basic manners. My parents threw a lot of large and small parties and socialized a lot, including with my dad's professional contacts and their families. My siblings and I were required to be polite hosts and guests to other kids. None of this "Well I don't like Larla so Mom and Dad will back me up if I just invite the kids I like to go to the family room for movies and games and just leave her out. Because WAH I'm just not impressed with her and it would be too tortuous for me to interact with someone who failed to clear my bar." This is part of building community and establishing long-term relationships. My dad had some lucrative professional opportunities that he wouldn't have had if we acted like a-holes to the kids of these potential partners.

I've seen some spectacular, karmic blow backs for the kids and parents who try this mean girl exclusion under the guise of "logistics" or whatever. I don't think this is a successful long-term strategy. [/quote]

I posted about often being the host. I absolutely tell my kids to be polite and good hosts. Even with kids they don’t like, I tell them to at least be civil. I do not force my kids to invite kids they do not like over to our house when the kid is organizing their own hang outs.

They absolutely have to be polite to the children of our adult friends and colleagues.[/quote]

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