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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sure, but the problem in the scenario that you describe is these lower-earning husbands are not contributing to the household more than, or even equal to the higher-earning wife. It’s not the money inequality that bothers me - it’s the household work (including mental load) inequality that bothers me.[/quote]

I was literally quoting from a scenario that I described where that was specifically not a concern, yet resentment was still rearing its head.

[b]“He earns less, but isn’t particularly driven in his career and prioritizes being a good and present father which is awesome. It works out well since we balance each other out. Sometimes it gets to me though and I wish he’d be more driven or earn more. Sometimes it feels like all the pressure is on me to achieve the type of lifestyle I’d like to have one day & the harder I work the more he’s come to rely on my earnings.”
[/b][/quote]

DP ..but for most women that’s not reality. Most men don’t take the mental load/invisible work from women.

I dated someone for three years in my 20s who was not ambitious. We realized we weren’t a good match as we both grew resentful of each other for wanting different things from life (there were other reasons too). We parted ways and I married someone who had goals similar to mine, among other things, and I think/hope the same is true of my former boyfriend. Some of these scenarios remind me of our dynamic. I don’t know what advice to give to OP…you can’t change someone. I know some people are making light of this but I do think OP might benefit from speaking with someone and maybe some joint sessions with a therapist. How she feels is valid and how her husband feels is valid. [/quote]

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