Reply to WWYD? Being asked NOT to bring a new spouse and children

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How old are the kids and was there an affair? I think generally the advice in these situations is to invite everyone and let them decide. If that means nephews won't go, that is on them. But the answers to my questions could change all of that. [/quote]

They were teenagers. It was a very painful divorce. They are now 24, 21 and 19. My exSIL has moved on, I felt she was always the bigger person.[/quote]

How long ago was the divorce?[/quote]

5 years ago[/quote]

And how long are these young men going to nurse a grudge and try to ruin their aunts Christmas dinner with their theatrics? 10 years? 15?[/quote]

OP said "nieces and nephew."    Why are you criticizing the one male, but apparently it's totally fine for the (multiple) young women to "nurse a grudge and try to ruin their aunts (sic) Christmas?"[/quote]

Is their presence really going to make or break the holiday for their auntie? Come on.

If you're going to have a family with divorces in it, you're going to have to learn to be more flexible about having people, and not having people, according to their own choices. It's in really poor taste to make a fuss about not having your grandchildren all together for one day when they've lost the ability to have their parents and nuclear family together every day of the rest of their lives.  It would be nice if everyone got along, but that's not the reality in this family and the nieces and nephews know that as well as anyone. [/quote]

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