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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DH has never told me I’m hot or sexy. On occasion he’ll say I like nice in something. It makes me feel so ugly. I’m not blowing my family up over it, but I’ve stopped trying. [/quote]

Same. I’m an attractive woman but have really kicked it up a notch in the last several months after having my 3rd kid. New hair, working out, new clothes. I get a lot of compliments from friends and strangers. Radio silence from DH.

I suspect a lot of it is family of origin. My lovely MIL is very, very obese (then and now) and she and FIL (a very good looking man) divorced when DH was an infant. There were never comments about looks in his household growing up, he said. It was just not discussed.

I’ve also wondered if on some level his mother (and sister) resented more conventionally attractive women and he carries that with him subconsciously. Even though he’s very attractive, and I know that my looks were a factor in him being attracted[b] to me.

I’m teaching my son how to pay sincere compliments. I’m also teaching him to unload the dishwasher without being asked haha. My future son or daughter in law will thank me. [/b][/quote]

This isn't something to be proud of. You've essentially turned your son into your husband and projected  your issues with your husband on to him. He may  load a dishwasher but he will have a ton of mommy issues to unpack.

You may also want to work on your internalized misogyny instead [/quote]

To be clear, I’m not walking around telling my son “Tell mommy she’s pretty! Now! Tell me I’m pretty!” I’m not now depending on my son for validation here.

Instead, I’m teaching him how to give compliments generally, which is a skill I don’t think my DH picked up in his household growing up. My daughter makes a nice painting? He says its beautiful. I dress up for date night? He tells me I look pretty. He wears a new sweater for picture day? I tell him he looks handsome. And of course, we compliment on intelligence, work ethic, kindness, generosity, etc. As many PPs have pointed out, my DH never learned this (particularly as it relates to beauty) and thus won’t naturally teach it to our son (or daughter for that matter. Compliments should go both ways.)[/quote]

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