Reply to How to handle? Tough-to-coach kid with a family tragedy

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would only keep her if you can have an extra spot on the team to keep her.  Devastating some other kid and cutting them is not the right answer either.

Or agree you make her the manager.  Or you personally transition her to another team and environment that's more appropriate for you.  Time to get creative. There is a solution that does not involve F-ing over some other kid.

By the way, if she is less skilled and makes the team anyway the other kids all know it and they will know she got kept on the team because of her personal situation and they likely won't be kind about it.  Not sure you're doing her any favors.[/quote]

Read this twice, OP.[/quote]

Read it three times and realize that, by cutting this girl, you would be like this poster. And you would have to look her widowed father in the eye and yourself in the mirror. 
[/quote]

Nothing happens in a vacuum.

First, there is a girl that should have made the team on merit.  She is collateral damage.

Second, there are the other girls on the team that will have to deal with the uncoachable and/or unruly behavior.  Potentially disrupting practices, games, and the entire season.

Third, the girl who lost her mother will have a challenging season playing with and against athletes who are superior to her.  There is an opportunity cost to her playing at this level, where she will not improve as much compared to if she played as the appropriate skill-level.  Additionally, a year where you are clearly the worst player on the team will often result in the person leaving the sport.  It happens ALL THE TIME at the middle school level.

You think adding her to the team is a kindness; it is not.  It's not kind to anyone, including the poor girl who lost her mother[/quote]

+a million. Keeping her on the team might make the situation even worse. Not to mention, what if she does stay and another girl who is going through a similar or even worse situation but is more talented gets cut? That wouldn’t be fair to the kid getting cut. Best case ask for an extra roster spot or make her manager. Worse case move her to a lower team to give her a chance to play without having to cut someone else. [/quote]

Lots of people on here calling names to the people thinking cutting is the right choice (which is ironic since they are using kindness as their reason for keeping her), but PP on this chain does a good job of explaining how it might not be kind to keep the girl.

It's more complicated than people think[/quote]

I agree. It's not that easy, esp if you are talking at levels beyond rec. Unfortunately, though not important to some of you, it is very important to the kids that play. Yes, yes, some are pushed by parents but not all of them are. And for those kids, to be cut from a team can be devastating in terms of their confidence, development, potential. And those are absolutely valid considerations to consider here.

If they can't keep an extra spot for the child at issue, I'm not sure keeping her is the right thing to do. And no one should feel bad about that. This is non-rec sports and it's how it goes. [/quote]

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