Reply to Would you confront your husband/wife's Emotional Affair lover?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm an OW. I almost wish she would contact me sometimes so I could apologize. It was an EA yEars in the making.  Was friends with the DH first, but I was friends with the family. I didn't really mean for it to escalate to that level and so many people got hurt. We were just stupid and got too close. [/quote]

Being on the other end of this, your apology would mean nothing to me.  You knew better, knew it went too far, and did nothing.  Innocent peole were hurt for selfish reasons.  You didn't do it alone, but honestly, I do hold women to a higher standard when it comes to this because we don't fall in love with our dick, we fall in love with our heart.   We are well aware there is huge risk of someone being hurt and know its pretty much inevitable.

Would I work to forgive you?  Yes.  Would I tell you if I forgave you?  No.  You're not my priority.  I refuse to let anger towards someone who isn't worth my time to consume me any more than absolutely necessary.  Forgiving the other person is something I strive towards so I can be at peace with MY life.  [/quote]

If all you wronged wives wouldn't listen to an apology, why would an OW listen to your ranting? Makes no sense.[/quote]

Wanting an apology and listening to an apology are too different things. I do not want her to apologize - I don't really care anything about her either way. Her apology would not help me in any way shape or form. But if she needed to apologize I would listen to it if it helped her move on with her life. Of course I am 10 years past the infidelity - very different than in the heat of it. I also would only want to listen to it if she had done a whole lot of work on her personal growth and this was a closure thing for her to move on to be a productive human being in society.

I did call the OW and I don't care what she wanted at the time - she entered my life on her terms and she left my life on my terms. It's as simple as that.[/quote]

Wronged wife here also.  This is my initial response to the OW.  I did call the OW that my husband had the affair with, but like the PP, it was to end that relationship on my terms.  Also, if my calling her out on it makes her think twice about doing it again, that it was worth it.  It was one of the hardest things that I had done in my life to that point but I knew it had to be done.  [/quote]

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