Reply to What are the unwritten/unspoken rules in life?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think one of the best things we can teach out kids is boundaries. The "always be kind" is tricky because there are people who take advantage of the kindness of others over and over and some of us have found "no good deed goes unpunished" with some. Better to "always treat others with respect" but you have a right to say "no."

Teens will end up in so many situations where boundaries are tested. good manipulators know how to make them feel guilty and worthless for saying "no" or even "unkind." Boundaries will be essential with peers, inlaws, family, everyone. Too many will be in situations where someone tests their boundaries in scary ways like molestation/sexual assault. "Always be kind" can keep people silent. There are definitely situations where you should be assertive and there are people who no longer deserve kindness because they have violated boundaries.[/quote]

+1 There are also levels of kindness. The level that you show your sibling or BFF isn't the same that you show an acquaintance. Just don't be cruel to people then let them earn how far you'll go to support them.

Plus always trust your gut. I tell my kids that I'd rather be perceived as rude rather than risk my safety. Lots of abusers and criminals prey on women and children wanting to be nice and avoid being perceived as not nice. [/quote]
I hate “trust your gut” advice. Many people have really bad instincts and most people are terrible at assessing risk.[/quote]

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