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[quote=Anonymous]I may have missed someone suggesting it but have you considered some individual counseling and then, perhaps, some relationship counseling?  I know DCUM throws that out a lot but, IME, it's been really helpfulwhen I'm wrangling with something I'm struggling to articulate (although DCUM, at its finest, can usually help me out!) and when my DH and I have hit a wall on resolving an issue.

I've had some experiences similar to what you're going through and want to throw this out there - which, if true, makes it more imperative that you seek counseling.  Addictive behaviors are not limited to partaking of substances.  It can also include things like exercise, food, shopping, screen time, quilting/knitting, sex, etc.  It's behavior that does something for the brain and which a person struggles to regulate. I gently suggest that in addition to, perhaps, your DH's identify being wrapped up in being an athlete (as a PP suggested), he may find it difficult to let go of cycling/triathalons because it may be something of an addiction/compulsion.  If there are elements of addiction/compulsion, you talking to him isn't going to make any difference. He needs more serious help.

Whether he continues to engage inthis hobby because of addiction/compulsion or because he doesn't care of the impact/risk that it has on you and your kids, it is having serious, negative consequences on your relationship, health and financial stability.  A partner disregarding this and continuing to do what they're doing really isn't a partner.  Counseling can help you figure things out.  Hugs.[/quote]

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