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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

Thank God, I was not raised in US and I am not White.  I am Indian.  Society, culture and family allowed me to develop as an individual first without being pressurized to have sex in India. There were no "sluts", premarital sex or teen pregnancy because these things just did not happen openly, so these things were not normalized (even if some happened, we were unaware of it).

Now. how do you teach your children growing in this country to abstain from teen sex?  Stopping them, being too strict or being too "foreign" will make your children rebel.  So, you do need to have conversations about sex  pretty early and in an appropriate manner with them and keep that communications open. Furthermore, you need to expose the inherent  dysfunction in family structures in this country early to your children. by letting them see for themselves and then analyzing it with the kids.

American kids have a very short childhood and they are very sexualized early on by a permissive family and society.  Parents are always in a hurry to have "independent" children who can raise themselves, The truth is that in the guise of "delegation of responsibilities to the children", American parents often practice "dereliction of parental duties".  They are raising their kids as how they were raised.  On the other hand,  if you are guiding your children in a way that they are being cared for and nurtured, being taught adulting by example and practice, being given tools to excel in life, having a thriving social life and a village, and knowing that you are going to be their support, they will turn towards you for guidance.   Practically it also means that you are spending a lot of time with your children and making sure that they are very busy with EC activities where they can taste success and get their dopamine hits.

However, you cannot talk only about traditions and culture to your children because that will not win them over.  You need to talk logically with them about the pros and cons of destructive behavior - teen sex, vaping, drugs, social media etc. My kids always needed facts and figures about the pros of one kind of behavior over another.  Why should they be learning how to code vs having sex with someone.   Teens who are indulging in sex have a lot of drama in their lives and it gets messy very soon and publicly when they are young.  So when my kids watch others crash and burn, they also learn the lessons from that.  Of course, in all of this - [b]parents need to walk the walk, have a loving and strong family unit,  give a lot of time to their kids, make sure that they have a large social network, have their own accomplishments to give them a sense of achievement, keep them busy etc.

Well raised children do not raise themselves. Great parents raise great kids. You have to make investment of your time, effort, emotions, love, money, resources in your children.[/b]  Teen sex is a desperate way that children seek out comfort, love, attention and belonging because their own family life is lacking it .[/quote]

I've had the opportunity to meet several indian americans through my work, and my daughter has participated in various competitive science and robotics teams, many of which were led by an indian american parent volunteer, mostly because of their math and science background. I've observed how indian american parents are extremely particular in having their kids foster friendships and connections with other like-minded children and their families who prioritize education and with moderate extracurricular activities. The children's schedules are packed with a wide array of afterschool engagements, including enrichment programs, sports, STEM-related competitive events, family gatherings, volunteer work, cultural events, etc., leaving little room for middle schoolers to explore romantic interests. My daughter's circle of friends is quite diverse, and lately, it includes many indian american friends. The conversations she participates in mainly center around the various activities they all take part in. These discussions are never even remotely related to the sexual topics that some other parents have brought up in this context. In a way, I can see how keeping children engaged in productive activities can help divert their minds from succumbing to hormone-driven, imitative sexual exploration.  [/quote]

Heh that's what the parents on Never Have I Ever thought, too.
[/quote]

Cherry-pickers scrounge outliers.
[/quote]

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