Reply to Rules about dating (14 years old)

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]She was 16 when they started dating.  For those opposed to dating what age do you think it is okay to start

Our rule was no dating until high school [/quote]

I'm not sure we were actually given a rule about age and dating. I'm like a previous poster who indicated they didn't have a mutually interested target. And it probably hasn't been good parenting practice on our part; but we've never established a specific rule about it for our kids, either. But our older kid has never expressed interest in anyone and also hasn't been social outside of home since middle school (friend groups change, pandemic shut-down). Our younger just turned 16 and recently informed us that she and a friend have determined that they like each other and were planning to go on a "real date." They've gone to a few movies together in the past and it's unclear what makes this "date" a "date" versus the things they've done in the past. They met at the chosen location, each being driven by another adult, and were picked up individually when they were done as well.

Even though we haven't determined a specific age eligibility for dating, it seems to me if my kid wants to go to homecoming with a specific "love interest," that would be a date and would be perfectly fine. If my kid were a freshman when that happened, I guess "high school" makes sense.  But for the "no dating until age 19" group, I still wouldn't see going to a dance "with" a specific partner as "dating" per se. They're still going with a group of friends, most likely; and it may be a one-off event.

Obviously, many teens engage in more intense relationships; but not all "dating" at this age involves sex or activities that are specifically delineated from what can appear to be friends hanging out. If they start holding hands at school, then I can see a difference from what their friendship has been over the past two years.

My point is, it's not necessarily clear-cut what constitutes "dating" and I really don't think it has to involve all the "get a room" PDA in the hallways and hanging all over each other whenever they're together. [/quote]

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