Reply to What is the defining trauma of your life?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My mom locked me in a basement and held the door while my aunts and uncles pounded on the door, yelled help, and pretended to break in through a tiny basement window. I was 7 or 8. I thought my extended family (mom, at least 5 aunts and uncles, sister, 2 cousins) was being murdered or something  terrible and I was either next or the only one left. Then instead of apologizing, they made fun of me for not realizing it was a joke. Even as an adult, they’d make fun of me for my response because I cried. [/quote]

Absolutely horrible[/quote]

+1.  This is so incredibly cruel, and from your family too.  I'm so sorry.[/quote]

It's not just cruel, it's weird and odd of a thing to do. I don't get it. Almost to the point where I feel like, could they be saying that to reassure you/lie/protect you from someting that really was indeed happening? but they still tease you which is really weird[/quote]

PP here. Please don’t try to give them the benefit of the doubt. My mom would roll her eyes when I would make a reference to it being cruel, and say that I should’ve known that no one could fit through the tiny window. One of them, I can’t remember which now, put on a work boot and stuck their foot through the tiny little basement window. They weren’t shielding me from anything, and the other kids were toddler-preschool age on the main floor or upstairs playing. Everyone was fine, there was no danger. It was a bunch of bored, immature adults, who probably had a few drinks, and were perpetuating the abuse cycle by bullying a child.

One aunt eventually apologized and acknowledged it was cruel and things just got out of hand. She said she felt guilty about it for years but never brought it up because she hoped I had forgotten about it and maybe it wasn’t as bad as she thought. It was. I’m estranged from most of them.

The bulk of my childhood was like a Jimmy Kimmel prank where the parents tell the kids they ate all the Halloween candy. Then there were worse pranks, like the basement thing. And that was just the emotional abuse. That’s the one that stuck with me, and the taunting after. I was ashamed of crying and being scared, because I was told that was the bad thing that happened in the situation.

There were good moments too, but it’s a sad day when you realize your mom will do almost anything to you without regards to your feelings just to entertain herself. I was an adult before I understood it was abuse, and it wasn’t until I had children before I realized just how cruel my family was.

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