Reply to I hate being stuck at $230k HHI and feel poor AF

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think that OP feels poor because her DH makes half her income.

It is a paucity mentality that comes from not marrying a good provider for a DH. Also, no kids is fine, but, if they do have kids, the mom may not be able to work or take time off because she is the bread-winner.

OP feels poor because she is in a catch-22 situation. I bet she cannot even get out of this marriage because she will have to pay alimony.

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NP but this is such a stupid attitude. I make over twice as much as my husband (we both make about $20K more than OP and her husband each). We have two kids and DH works from home full-time which gives us SO MUCH flexibility with the kids. If DH made more money, he'd probably have to work more hours and we'd never see him. I much prefer our current scenario. OP is just dumb and doesn't know how to manage her money. This has nothing to do with her husband (unless he's a big spender and the reason they aren't saving). 
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It depends on the individuals. In your case, your DH has a flexible job and it sounds like he pulls his weight. That's not true for everyone. It's not uncommon in marriages where women outearn men for the women to STILL be the default parent. If your DH made what he currently makes now, but his job was not flexible and he wasn't picking up your slack at home, how would you feel about his income?

OP doesn't have kids so I don't think this applies to her, but I know with kids it's a serious issue. Even men who think they want to be equal parenting partners sometimes change their tune once the baby comes along. My DH talked a big game but then pulled a lot of classing man BS once our kid was born -- re re-negged on taking paternity leave alone with the baby (claimed work wouldn't let him but really he was scared), avoided any task he found at all unpleasant, refused to take the lead on anything kid related, etc. Dealing with that behavior PLUS earning double his income? Would have made me livid.[/quote]

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