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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m one of the PP’s whose parents/in-laws don’t help. Someone asked who is to “blame” and I don’t think really anyone. We are not estranged or anything. We see them for dinners and holidays. They are kind to my kids and buy them holiday gifts, but they don’t offer to babysit or take them out for ice cream or even entertain them when we are around. They are just disinterested. The kids are girls and delightful so it’s not them. They are the same with siblings kids too. [/quote]

I am sure that this was a reserved family with similar hands off dynamics even when you were kids. Some families are warm, close and affectionate and some are standoffish. This continues when kids grow up. [/quote]

NP but you are kind of missing the point.

If everyone was super happy with "standoffish" family relationships, no one would complain about it. The PP wouldn't be disappointed that her parents are disinterested in her kids. But she is.

The truth is that "standoffish" family dynamics are dysfunctional, and people who grow up in homes like this do hope it will change. Often they change those dynamics for their own kids. I am super warm, loving, and supportive with my own kids. It makes me sad I didn't have that as a child and that my parents are still not like that, with me or with my kids.

Warmth, closeness, and affection are basically the point of family. When it doesn't happen, it feels wrong and hurtful. That's what people are talking about on here. [/quote]

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