Reply to My husband believes we seriously live in a matriarchy

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Wow what planet is that guy living on where he thinks everything is a matriarch and how cano I get there?[/quote]

I hear my husband say stuff like no one takes care of him, or that no one cares if he is sad, or that it doesn’t matter if you are a good person, people only care about what you can do for them.  And I think, “yeah.  Welcome to being an adult.”

But I think he imagines that there is this other subset of people who are just loved and cared for unconditionally without anything being expected of them in return.  I don’t know who exactly he thinks these people are (other than children) or who is doing all of this caring (men?).  But it feels real to him.  [/quote]

That other subset is called "women". And the reason is because they are more inherently biologically valuable.

Way to invalidate your husbands feelings. [/quote]

Who does he think takes care of women or cares if they are sick or sad?  The kids?  Their boss? Him?  Who?

[/quote]

[b]Society takes care of women[/b], because they are more biologically valuable. That's why women consume the lion's share of social services and are generally treated more sympathetically in times of vulnerability.

A man has to become valuable, because he is not born with the same degree of intrinsic value as a woman. Your husband is describing the weight of contingent value that he feels. The safety nets won't care as much about him.[/quote]

You lost me right there.[/quote]

Not sure why you're getting lost. By and large, men have always been treated as more expendable by society. [/quote]

Then why is it that men think that someone should care if they are sad or appreciate them for who they are on the inside, and women don’t expect this?  
The idea that anyone outside my immediate family cares if I’m sad is so foreign to me.   
If they are so expendable, why do men think that they are intrinsically more special?  
[/quote]

Women don't expect this? Hahahah.

Women receive way more sympathy for hardship. The fact that you can't see that is telling...

I don't know that men think they are intrinsically more special. No sure where you get that. A lot of men understand the reality of their expendability and contingent value, but that doesn't mean it's a cake walk to face that reality. But they must, because that's just the way it is. [/quote]

Dude.  I’m telling you that I cannot relate to this thought that people should care if you are sad.  
It came up while reading this article, intended for young men:

https://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-truths-that-will-make-you-better-person

It has 25 million views, so it must be speaking to someone.  I will tell you who it speaks to…young men.  Women don’t relate to this because they know this from girlhood, so it doesn’t make any sense to be told this.  
Cinderella doesn’t get the prince because she is is a nice person with a wicked sense of humor.  She gets the prince because she doesn’t act sad when faced with horrible circumstances, and she is the hottest girl in the room.  
Snow White gets to stay with the dwarves because she doesn’t act sad, and she does all of their housework.

No little girl thinks that society cares who she is on the inside.   
The fact that men think that someone out there, other than them, cares about their wives and daughters (so they don’t have to…) is so bizarre.  [/quote]

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