Reply to Parents being flippant about inheritance

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]some people (American boomers, cough) have a very individualistic mindset.  It's theirs, full stop, regardless of whether they earned it or not.  And they want you to know that.

Other people view themselves as stewards of money for the greater good of the family, the community, whatever.  [/quote]

I posted before, but do think there is something to this. My relatives over the years were not wealthy, but money was passed down so we would always be OK for emergencies. As we faced a difficult birth, NICU stay, special needs and medical issues we did not ask for any assistance. Not only did we rarely get supportive words, but without asking for money, we were told not to even ask for help with hospital bills, etc. They flitted off to Europe quite a bit and occasionally asked about their first grandkid and eventually when their second grandkid showed up they were relieved she didn't have special needs too.

I have shut down any talk about money because their are constant attempts at manipulation. Luckily we have saved and grown our own money and if my kids, grandkids, great grandkids end up in the hospital or need early intervention I will offer to pay before even asked. I hope I can help make their lives a little easier paying for trips now and then and eventually passing on money. Unless my kids become criminals or do unethical things, I will gladly help out some. I also plan to be kind and supportive emotionally-something I always yearned for.

My relatives are all rolling over in the graves listening to my mother act like an entitled princess as she tells people "I have money!" My memories of her are littered with so many attempts to knock people down, feel superior, manipulate and control others with her money-95% of which she did not earn. What I will remember most is at our lowest when we didn't even have time to think of the financial toll of a child with medical issues and special needs, she could not show empathy and cheer us on as parents and have decency. Instead there was this frequent reminder her money was hers, money we didn't ask for. It felt like I was being treated as some greedy, selfish child all while I was trying to keep my mental health together to care for a very needy infant, child and then teen. If it weren't for a supportive spouse, a therapist, friends and the kindness of absolute strangers I would have most my mind. People who are disgusting about their money deserve to be shamed and I think it is just an outward sign of a darkness, disturbance and emptiness inside. Keep your money, but nobody has a right to be nasty about their money. I think it's disturbing how many people jump on and insist those of us who cannot stand this behavior are just greedy. Everything isn't about money. We are talking about character and human decency.[/quote]

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