Reply to SIL asked us to take her kids overnight

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Nothing like family![/quote]

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These are OP's child's cousins.  It's one night.  OP could plan a fun night for her child and her child's cousins.  Instead, she's whining about how it's not fair.  Of course it's not fair. Family is rarely fair.  You could do the right thing or not.  Up to you. [/quote]

Ah, the 'family' card!  So much internalized misogyny on this thread!  If OP agrees to it, I'd have her leave the planning for a 'fun night' to her DH.  These are, after all, his blood kin.  Of course, as demonstrated by your post, you lay the burden of this on women. If her DH wants to be responsible for it all, he should agree to it. [/quote]

Listen, I don't think the OP should host this sleepover. She clearly doesn't want to. It also doesn't sound like the SIL asked OP, instead of her brother, about the sleepover. [b]No major assumptions were made about OP doing all the work.[/b] So far, it doesn't sound like anyone is making any kind of misogynist assumptions here. OP is being told "you could do this work if it was important to you" by the majority of the posters. I don't think this is an instance of misogynist martyrdom, though I do agree these threads often end up in that space.

This is one woman looking down on a woman she perceives to be lower class and taking insult from a relatively normal family request. Then 5 pages of arguing about how right she is. I saw like 3 posts saying that she should take the kids. I suggested on like page 2 that she could make this a fun thing if she wanted to. She doesn't want to. She needs to own that. Internalized misogyny has nothing to do with it.[/quote]

Seriously, you don't think that OP would be carrying most of the weight to pull off the sleepover?  You think her DH will have the lead and do most the work?

I don't know what posts you've been reading but there, absolutely is a lot of misogyn on this thread.  I get that OP hasn't explained herself well.  Have you never been conflicted about something but struggled to understand/articulate why you're so bothered by it?  I certainly have.  OP is absolutely right to feel the way she does.  She can be hurt that her efforts to establish a relationship between the cousins was rebuffed/ignored - and to top it off, she doesn't even like her ILs but she made an effort. But now that they need something from OP and her DH - and admit it, OP will be carrying the load - they have no problem reaching out.  And, the harpies on DCUM, rather than take a minute to think about the situation, jump on OP and castigate her for being selfish and horrible.

I say good for OP.  I'm sorry she's conflicted. I'm sorry her refusal to be used in the name of 'family' wasn't supported.  This would only be a 'normal family request' if the ILs had acted as family.  If there wasn't a genetic component, would anyone have thought twice about OP's refusal and indignation?  I doubt it.  If you wouldn't accommodate this behavior in acquaintances/friends, why would you accommodate it in family?  [/quote]

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