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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The weird part is just life in general.

There is always a orderly plan for life with important goals and strong motivators from elementary school until children graduate college.

Then there’s this weird void with less important and ambiguous goals of your choosing. Nobody really talks much about it or plans for it. It’s just an odd period. Especially after your parents die… you are next to go over the edge of the conveyer belt , lol. Clinging to high volume involvement in your kids busy lives is actually kind of insecure and selfish. There are actually some really important things you can do with church involvement, aiding a hospice etc… but there is no set blueprint like life before.[/quote]

Strong goals and blueprint from when a person is in elementary school until that persons children graduate college. To be clear. Then wtf am I supposed to do?  Crickets in the blueprint area. It’s a weird, somewhat exciting, somewhat sad period. All of those plans, goals and blueprints were almost a distraction from reality that you entered the world by yourself and you will leave it by yourself. But now you either face it or figure out some other more ambiguous distraction.[/quote]

Who were you before you had kids? When did that person get lost? Why is the only value you perceive is your value as a mother? And you want to be loved but not needed or of service - as if your active mothering days are over and you should just sit back and be fawned over as the martyr matriarch who gave everything she had to others? That’s not going to happen. You need to find your own path that you control and doesn’t depend on your kids creating purpose for you.

Where is your spouse? Your friends? Your community? Your hobbies? [/quote]

I think you misunderstand.

I do not expect anything from my children. I just want them to be happy. What I’m saying is.. in first grade you need to get to second grade… to middle school.. to high school.. graduate high school … to college ,.. graduate college … get a job.. try to move up… get married… have children…. Create a stable house/financial atmosphere.. get kids from baby to toddler to elementary to middle (sports involved) ..to HS get in college..: graduate college .. launch… it’s all pretty much layed out.

Now….  hang out with spouse and do hobbies. And avoid the thought that I’m next over the conveyer belt.

I mean it’s not bad.. just a weird transition.[/quote]

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