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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Husband of 10 years says he doesn’t want kids or a suburban life"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Honestly, if you're 36 and he's willing (even if just for you), have a baby then figure out if you want to stay in the marriage. I'm assuming if you divorced he'd be a competent though disengaged co-parent and wouldn't fight you hard on custody. If you think he could get nasty, then different situation. But if I wanted to be a parent, I wouldn't give up on that to stay with him, or divorce then risk never becoming a parent. Maybe he'll step up and everything will work out, but better a divorced single mom than dealing with infertility as a single mom by choice. I'm sorry you're in this position, OP. It's unfair doesn't leave you with any great options.[/quote] Okay this wins Worst Advice Award on DCUM today. Do NOT bring a kid into an unstable marriage.[/quote] It doesn't sound like the marriage is unstable, it just sounds like DH is being honest that he doesn't really want kids, but would have them for OP. As has been said previously on this thread, I think there are MANY prospective parents that feel this way and just don't articulate it to their partner. Some of them become absentee parents, but many-most grow to love the child(ren) they have and are perfectly good parents. But I had infertility younger than OP and as much as I love my husband and adore him as a father, I'd rather have my child than my marriage. Fertility isn't a guarantee, particularly if she divorces then tries to become a parent on her own in a few years, and many people have babies and hope for the best. [/quote]
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