Reply to Getting over my affair partner.

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Getting over my affair partner. "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]To OP -
I am in an affair right now . Reading this has been helpful . I am in love with him and he says he is also with me . However , kids are involved which makes me hesitant to leave . I also second what people on here are saying that affairs are a fun fantasy . Like my AP and I don’t have to discuss bills , raising kids together . All the mundane stressful things that married people do together . But I was in the same situation as you where my husband and I struggled with conflicts for years and then he seemed to have decreasing desire for me . He refuses to go to therapy .  The attention and love my AP gives me is indeed addicting . There is a big draw to be that good mom to your kids and stay with you husband and try to work on things through therapy . I wish you the best of luck and sorry for your pain . [/quote]

Pp, please end the affair for the sake of your children.  I realized something while I was mourning my relationship with AP, which I very reluctantly ended- when I was a child the adults in my life all declined to just do the right thing for their own selfish reasons.  By staying in the affair, I was doing the same thing to my kids and AP’s kids and passing on that trauma to the next generation- to FIVE kids, all because I messed up as an adult.  Yes, my fake affair “happiness” is gone, that rush is gone, the excitement is gone, but I’ve “sacrificed” my own happiness before for far less.[/quote]

OP here. If you don’t mind me asking, do you feel relieved? How long did it take you to get over the initial consuming sadness?[/quote]

I don’t know if I would call it relief- more of a conviction that no matter what I simply cannot contact this person ever again.  My marriage was imploding simultaneously and it took a couple of months to regain my equilibrium.  But your sanity will eventually come back, sort of in spurts.  To this day I still occasionally fantasize about AP but the thought of contacting him makes me sick.  [/quote]

OP here. My grief with this is coming in waves. The longer that he goes without texting, the more I feel like he didn’t care, if that makes any sense. [/quote]

Obviously he cares about repairing his life with his wife more than he cares about you.  Do you really want to interact with him after he made that choice?  Block him and move on with your life.[/quote]

OP here.

Yes, logically, I know that, but I can’t seem to force myself to move on right now. [/quote]

With time you will.  [b]With time you will begin to feel actual guilt towards the innocent people that you hurt.  You will also understand that sleeping with a married man was a super trashy thing to do and not sexy or subversive or whatever you thought it was. [/b] Not to mention whatever happens if your husband finds out.  He might leave you, you might lose custody of your kids and marital assets. It’s going to feel super bad for a pretty long time, but these are the results of your choices.

-been there done that[/quote]

Let’s hope so.  [/quote]

From what she’s written, it’s doubtful.  It’s all about her.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics