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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’ve been sleeping with married men since i was 18. Im single, so I'm not the one cheating. I am always the one who ends it. [/quote]

Have you been psychologically evaluated?  Do you plan to keep doing this when old and shriveled?  Who hurt you that this is what you like doing?  Obviously raised in a house with zero morals or compassion/empathy.[/quote]

+1[/quote]

I find responses like these to be pretty over the top. So many people on this forum can only see in black and white when it comes to cheating, as in, cheaters and their APs have zero morals and zero empathy. Reality, though, is more complex.

I had a friend in college who lost both her parents by high school. So in a real sense she was an adrift in life for awhile. She had several flings with married men in those years. Before you call her a derogatory name and say she has zero morals, you should also know that she served in the military, rehabilitates injured animals, volunteers at homeless shelters, advocates for the ethical treatment of minors in the system, as a start. She’s a deep and complex person, and a deeply caring friend with a profoundly intellectual mind. She was involved in some flings that very well may have caused some pain. But to say she has no empathy couldn’t be further from the truth.

I know it’s hard to hear that there’s so many shades of gray in these scenarios. It’s easier to think that the woman, or man for that matter, is a moral deprived jerk. But again, life is complex and it would serve us all to remember that none of us are perfect and all of us still add a great deal of value in this world and to the lives of others. [/quote]

Wah, waahhh, wah.  Many people have gone through lots of trauma and still don’t bang married men.  Oh yes “some flings that well have causes some pain”.  And it’s even plural for gods sakes.

No a lot of narcissists put out phony blogs about their charitable work and it’s all part of the narc bag…all designed for that external validation.  Just like the mom bloggers that act like such loving wives and great mothers that are out banging multiple married men behind their husband’s backs.  Real salt if the earth people because, hey, they did a fun run for autism speaks. [/quote]

Huh? She doesn’t blog. She doesn’t do anything charity related. I mean her actual life’s work and paycheck come from child welfare advocacy work. None of this ends up on social media to be clear.

Anyway you just proved my point. I never said her relationship with those men didn’t cause pain. Affairs most certainly cause pain. But you can’t just place every singe person in this box or that based on who they sleep with. I[b]n the grand scheme of things this woman has done a whole hell of a lot helping others and making a positive impact on people in need, and having sex with a married man doesn’t erase that, period.[/b] [/quote]

What you say in the bold is true.

It is also true that doing "a whole hell of a lot helping others and making a positive impact on people in need" does not erase her terrible judgement and moral failure in having sex with married men. Two things can be true at the same time.

One can compartmentalize and be a very good, decent, moral person in certain areas, and a moral black hole in other areas, and one does not [i]mitigate[/i] the other. She can be a child welfare advocate who has genuinely saved children, and also be morally empty behind a closed door with another woman's husband.

I hope she has gotten therapy for whatever it is in her life that made her feel she craved men's attention and sex so much that her morality, so strong elsewhere, switched off when she wanted a man's validation and body. Maybe she felt she was "saving" men who told her tales of awful wives, so her need to help others was perverted into affairs where she imagined she was helping these men. But unless she herself, not you on her behalf, has shown true remorse and regretted having sex with married men-- all the good deeds don't erase that. She can only live her remorse by stopping having sex with married men and getting professional help to find out why she did so in the first place. If she can see the pain and suffering of children and animals, why could she not also empathize with women whose husbands were cheating with her? [/quote]

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