Reply to AITA for not wanting DH to give MIL 4K to clear a debt

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yes, I think you should gift her the $4k, but I would let your husband know where you stand on any future assistance after this point.  I would have a serious problem with a spouse that stood in my way to gifting this to my own mother - do it for your husband not your MIL.[/quote]

But why should anyone believe you and your mother wouldn't come back for more? Giving anything at all sets a bad precedent and opens the door to repeated requests. Her financial situation is awful, she makes bad decisions and can't afford her lifestyle, why would anyone believe $4K is the end?[/quote]

You are different ground with your spouse when you can point out that he agreed to a one time gift in the past than you are never helping in the first place.  I don’t agree that this sounds like an out of control spending MIL either.[/quote]

It's not that her spending is out of control, it's that she makes bad decisions, doesn't understand money, and doesn't have anywhere near enough savings. Even if she spent the bare minimum she would be in trouble because she simply does not have enough income and savings. It's impossible for this to be a one-time gift. So it's stupid for OP and her DH to say or believe that this is a one-time thing.

Rather than just handing over $4K, this is an opportunity review the big picture of MIL's and their family's finances and get on a sustainable path. I do think OP and her DH will have to pay for MIL quite a bit over the years, but they can act now to improve her situation. But just giving money without an intervention would be a hard no from me.[/quote]

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