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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]I just watched a documentary about rampant sexual abuse in the Boy Scouts so this is freshly on my mind but I don’t think I trust people who want to work around kids.[/b]

I just guess I can’t understand their reasoning unless it’s [b]nefarious[/b]?

The pay in these jobs is always very low and very rarely have good benefits.  [b]I just don’t believe people do it because they “love” other peoples kids[/b].  I love my kid, but not really anyone else’s.  I don’t want them harmed of course but never would I willingly spend any amount of time with someone else’s kids.  Kids are gross and obnoxious.  The only reason I can see people putting up with it would be if they’re their kids or they’re paid incredibly well to put up with it.

And I don’t want to seem like I’m demonizing educators.  I can somewhat understand the draw for teachers.  I’m sure helping young people learn can give some people an internal, moral drive.

But [b]I just can’t shake this suspicion [/b]of yeah, obviously volunteer based work like Cub Scout leaders or children’s swim coaches or any job where an adult chooses to spend a lot of time with children often without parents.

[b]My baby is an infant and only is cared for by myself, my DH and my mother[/b] but at some point I’ll have to let her be under the care of someone else and it just really scares me.

We toured a daycare when DD was about 4 months old and I just thought… why would anyone work here?  It seemed like hell and the pay was abysmal.  [b]My mind couldn’t shake the idea[/b] that these people just wanted access to my kid and it freaked me out.

[b]Call me crazy, [/b]but think about it.  What benefits are there?  
Why would some 40-year-old choose to spend all day with other peoples kids making $15 an hour when they could have an easier job with adult interaction and make $18 an hour?  [b]I just can’t believe it’s a “goodness of their heart” thing.  People don’t work like that[/b]. [/quote]

I'm trying to be a gentle as I can possibly be when I say this to you -- you definitely seem to be suffering from undiagnosed anxiety...  whether you want to admit it to yourself or not, doesn't make it any less true

Every hallmark is there -- look at the damaging language you use above... that's anxiety, and your anxiety makes you hyperfocus on certain topics/situations that disturb you greatly.

Thus, you've become your own worst enemy as far as your mental health is concerned... you are already so hyper-focused about sexual predators (to the point of obsession).  
These intrusive thoughts are already  invading your consciousness incessantly, however you're then using whatever little free time that your brain isn't fixated on predators, to then watch documentaries on sex abuse??

Your thoughts are already intrusive enough, why would you want to increase your anxiety even more?

Look, we're all parents, we're all terrified of predators and our children becoming victims, but you've taken it to an entirely new level of fixation.

You should really take an online evaluation to see where you land (like the link below).
Undiagnosed anxiety is super damaging, especially on our children, who will lean to live their formative years walking on eggshells as not to "trigger" mom. 
When someone in the household suffered from anxiety, it affects everyone in the home... and not in a good way. 
Anxiety permeates throughout every thought, action and your reaction.

When you have undiagnosed anxiety -- the household is always on edge, again making it impossible to have a true tight knit, rather it feels more like smothering.

Kids life that don't grow up with a close relationship with their parent, because it's difficult to get close to a  parent with undiagnosed/untreated anxiety, as their reactions are unpredictable & frightening.

Undiagnosed anxiety causes people to fixate on their lack of control -- you can still be frightened & concerned for your child's happiness & well being without putting everyone around you on edge.

You'll never, ever have complete and total control over everything, no matter how much you try.

Whether you think you have anxiety or not is not what's important -- what is important, is that if you love your child as much as you say you do (and I believe that you do love your child) then you'll do this for THEM... rather than be dismissive of it due to your own vanity, pride and ego.

* FYI, the sheer number of statements you made about not liking other peoples kids (but you like your own) because kids are all so "gross and obnoxious", that you couldn't possibly envision adults wanting to work with them sheerly out of the "goodness of their heart", says far, FAR more about you and your perverse way of thinking, than you'll ever know.

Take the quiz, it can't hurt... do it for your future relationship with your child.

https://match.talkspace.com/flow/64/step/1?cta_source=unknown
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