Reply to Phrase to get strangers to stop admonishing autistic child

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Reply to "Phrase to get strangers to stop admonishing autistic child"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My sister and also another close friend have kids with ASD who have outbursts like this. I also have another sister who refuses to discipline her child. It's so bad that I've stopped inviting the family with the undisciplined NT kid to join us for events at our home and out in public.

The problem here is that there are lots of parents who let their kids run wild and don't make the effort to teach them to deal with limits or things running out. Outsiders have no way to know whether your kid who is throwing a fit has a parent who refuses to do the work to teach them to behave in public vs. the kid has a medical condition.

"Just wanted to throw that out because there are differing views and plenty of people wouldn't have minded the cashier saying that to your child.
Are these parents of kids with autism?"

How do you expect people to know which one you are? 
[/quote]

So i don't disagree with you in theory. i guess the issue is: Why should any stranger NEED to make a comment in either scenario?  "Best case" the kid is a NT brat who needs to be reined in by her mom. What's the purpose of the stranger saying something? Do you think it will help?   "Worst case" the kid is ASD. Saying anything won't make a difference.  And more importantly, shouldn't everyone in life just assume the best in others and assume this isn't a shitty mom but is a mom trying to handle her SN kid?  [/quote]

OP here. I had this thought also. What did those two women think the were accomplishing? (It was mostly the ice cream truck woman, and then the mom in line sort of piled on after the ice cream lady was so angry.) If my daughter were a NT brat, who lives with me all the time, with me parenting her and turning her into a brat, did the ice cream lady think she was going to teach her a lesson by denying her ice cream this one time? That’s very unlikely to be a durable lesson in the face of a lifetime of bad parenting!
[/quote]

Isn't it possible the ice cream truck lady was speaking to your child as a function of her job? She should be managing the line, making sure it is moving, letting customers know their options, maybe trying to make a profit. It sounds like she could have handled the situation better but she wasn't a random person who wandered into the situation. Your child having a meltdown in a line she was managing during probably wasn't a pleasant experience for her. Everyone is correct, she has no training for this situation so there shouldn't be an expectation that she knows what to do and she could easily interpret it to be her job to interact with the clients in the line she is managing.[/quote]

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