Reply to Why don’t more parents understand that adult kids have leverage nowadays to cut off contact, and

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Why don’t more parents understand that adult kids have leverage nowadays to cut off contact, and "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
[b]I was only allowed to have a car my senior year of HS [/b]so they could control my whereabouts.  My mom referred to cars as “killing machines”.  I finally took my car to college my sophomore year so I could drive to work.  It took a lot to get my parents to allow this.  My parents then introduced “checks” on the car.  I wasn’t allowed to drive the car at night so they would take trips to my college town to make sure the car was indeed in the parking lot of my dorm at night.

[b]I wasn’t allowed to go to college out of state despite my parents having plenty of money.[/b] I wanted to apply anyway and get loans but didn’t have access to a checking account to pay for applications.  The college advisor at my school told my parents and I was then punished for pursuing anything out of state.

During college I wasn’t allowed to study abroad.  Parents refused to pay for it and because of their controlling ways, [b]I didn’t have the ability to take out loans[/b].  Instead I was told I’d spend summer abroad with my parents.  As a 20 year old I spent the summer touring Europe with my parents.

After college my parents used their financial means to try to control me.  [b]They paid for a condo in Manhattan[/b].  I eventually figured them out, moved out and went on my way.  
[/quote]

The bolded comments are a great examples of entitlement. You want to complain about not getting your own car until senior year of HS, them not paying out of state tuition even though you determined THEY had the money AND they paid for a condo in NYC. Unbelievable. [b]You could have bought your own car, found your own job, paid for your own college and adult apartment. [/b]You didnt so don't complain now it was controlling while you sat on your rump reaping the benefits of them "controlling you". [/quote]

I wasn’t allowed to buy my own car.  My money was controlled by my parents.  I did not have transportation to even get to a bank to open my own bank account in secret.  Any paychecks I received from work were deposited into an account that my parents closely monitored.  If you’ve never had very controlling parents you likely don’t understand any of this.  As a minor child, I’m not sure you have too many rights to do things like take out a car loan without a down payment.

I couldn’t find my own job in HS because my mom dragged me around to businesses to interview.  She found me a job one day when I was attending school and drove me to the business after school.  She told me on the way to the business that I would be working there.  I pushed back and was told I would be punished severely if I didn’t go work there.  I don’t think you understand how controlling parents respond and what extreme measures they will take to control their children.

I wanted to apply out of state and take out loans since my parents would not pay for the tuition despite it being set aside for college.  The backlash and punishment I received for even reaching out to my HS college advisor was unreal.  I lost all sorts of privileges for even trying to get the $50 to write a check to apply to a specific school.

I do admit I let them control me too long during my adult life.  But as a HS kid I truly couldn’t help what happened.  [/quote]

DP again. This is unreal. You aren't entitled to a car, out-of-state tuition, or a condo.

Did you even look for a job of your own? We get it, you don't like the job Mom found. But maybe she was frustrated by your inaction.

Re the out-of-state school, you could have applied for merit aid and loans on your own, as an emancipated child. You didn't do that.

Your story about trying to "get" $50 to write a check doesn't make a lot of sense. In fact it sounds like you were trying to withdraw $50 for whatever. [/quote]

Here’s what I wanted as a kid:

1.  To find my own job 
2.  Buy my own car (I think you have to have a parent co-sign it under 18?)
3. Either use my college fund or borrow money to attend money out of state which at the time required 
4.  A check for $50 to apply to the out of state school, which I didn’t have

I didn’t want anyone to buy me a car or find me a job.  Or buy me a condo.  [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics