Reply to Why don’t more parents understand that adult kids have leverage nowadays to cut off contact, and

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[quote=Anonymous]We are gen-x parents. First of all, my own parents and grandparents were super supportive and enlightened for their generation. We had a lot of freedom except we were not allowed to do immoral, illegal, unsafe and stupid things.  We were expected to be good, considerate, law-abiding and responsible.

My kids are millinials and gen Z.  They are raised the same way.  They have all the freedom but they are expected to make good choices, be organized, compassionate, law-abiding, civic minded, goal oriented, collaborative and not be self-centered.  I expect them to manage their education, jobs, finances, life, relationships, health, social life - after modeling the same to them all their life.  They are very grateful for their family life becaue once they went to college and talked to their dormmates, the true extend and scope of family dysfunction of the type OP has written about that existed for others became clear to them and it was eye-opening

We have paid or will pay fully for - their full college and beyond education, their first new car, their wedding, help with buying first condo.  My kids are allowed to stay at our house for as long as they want without paying for rent, meals or utilities.  Of course, in return, we expect them to not be wasteful and irresponsible.  We expect them to save their money and grow their assets.  We expect them to make good choices.

Parents and ACs - both need to be respectful and sincere towards each other.   But, if one is an alchoholic, abusive, selfish, entitled ahole or a waste of space lazy bum - then the other party will treat them with disrespect.  That is to be expected.

It is better for parents to not have children than to have a POS kid. [/quote]

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