Reply to How much stress is too much stress?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I was suicidal while at NCS. I’m now on the fence between Flint Hill and SSSAS for my own DD because she has a similar temperament and I want her to flourish, not be crushed. [/quote]
I would look at schools more mellow. No one deserves that and I am sorry for your experience.[/quote]

NP here. Wrong. If PP was suicidal at NCS, that’s just a testament to her own anxiety and lack of resilience.

I frankly don’t understand this conversation at all. Having a highly anxious kid in a competitive, pressure cooker environment like NCS is GREAT — because they learn to give up their perfectionist tendencies and instead adopt a growth mindset.

I’m the OP of this post:

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1067220.page

And I really do think that parents need to push their kids into the most competitive and high-pressure environment; otherwise they won’t know how to deal with pressure and high-stakes and will just crumble as an adult (because quite frankly, being a young adult in this day and age is stressful). Kids need to learn to deal with high-stakes environments, and learning it in high school is a great opportunity.

And if these kids end up with anxiety or suicidal ideation because of said environment, it would probably be much worse had they gone to an easier school and not learned how to cope with a stressful environment. Remember, anxiety is most effectively abetted by exposure! Your kids need that exposure to stress to not be anxious. [/quote]
Your absolute belief that your approach is the correct one is stunning. And dangerous. And directly contradicts child mental health professionals who manage my child’s health. True, diagnosed anxiety is best treated by professionals considering the specifics of the child involved. For mine, careful expose to situations that allow for a healthy chance of failure and learning the need to let go of perfectionism is good, but tossing her into the deep end of NCS could literally kill her. That is not a risk I am willing to take. Teaching your child to survive by dropping her the wilderness with a compass and a firestarter and seeing if she makes it out might be great for your kid, and more power to her for coming out a resourceful, resilient adult. But it is NOT the right approach for every child, and a smart parent knows when to push and when not to. [/quote]

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