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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Two summers ago DH and I decided to rent a beach house for 2 weeks in August. At the end of the trip we invited DH’s parents to come for a weekend. Overall it was a nice time. Last summer we rented the same house and in addition to DH’s parents coming, they pretty much invited his sister/BIL and their kids and everyone went from staying for a weekend to 5/6 days. It was fine, but the small house was pretty chaotic and instead of my kids having a bedroom they had to stay in the room with DH and me so his parents could have one room and his sister and her family had the other. No one offered to chip in for the most part so not only did we pay for the beach house, but we paid for most of the food too.

We were planning to rent a house again this summer and MIL already made a comment about how much fun everyone had and they can’t wait to come back. I suggested that we find a bigger house and all split it, which was pretty much met with blank stares. They pretty much just want us to foot the bill for their summer vacation.

I want to disinvite them, although let’s be clear that we have not invited them, but DH thinks that will not go over well. Can we tell them that if they want to come they need to contribute without it becoming a “thing”? I don’t see why others can’t chip in so we can get a more comfortable house. Why should we pay for the whole thing and be crammed in one bedroom, feeding everyone, etc? What would you do?[/quote]

Thank you for providing more information. I know people in this situation, so here are my questions, OP:

Is this the SIL/BIL's only summer vacation?  Do they have limitless (ex: retired) or limited (ex: not retired) vacation time?

I agree with laying everything out beforehand in an email to everyone - BUT be sure to include everyone, because you never know if your brother does not relay information well to his wife, etc.

You may wish to mention what you expect regarding food, since you raised the issue, and it seems important to you.  Many people prefer to eat out, and many people prefer to eat in. So, if you wish to communicate about it, now is the time. You might come across as controlling regarding this topic, just a heads up.

It seems your goal is to get everyone together, but to have others help pay, and to have enough rooms for everyone - does that include people who are only able to take off a few days? Or do they get the (ex: not desirable) rooms, but pay the same?  Some beach houses have X number of beds, but (in some families, not all - not to offend hostile PPs) those who arrive first get the best arrangements, and that is not always fair, especially if you expect them to pay the same. For example, there are pull out couches, etc - but that would personally not be my idea of a vacation. Of course, these are random examples (not to offend the hostile PPs).

In other words, there are some pertinent details that may need to be addressed. If everyone is comfortable on their vacation, (including you - but others, as well) it makes a big difference.

Disclaimer: Again, not to offend hostile PPs. [/quote]
WTAF?[/quote]

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