Reply to This is really bothering me- always being "on" as the parent

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Reply to "This is really bothering me- always being "on" as the parent"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous](OP)

I think DH read this post :lol:[/quote]

I hope that means you had a productive discussion!

Leaving without mentioning it while caring for young kids is definitely problematic. He's saying that there's a double-standard . . . you're on the hook, but he's not. Because the alternative is that he thinks it's fine for both of you to wander in and out, and maybe someone will be home with the kids, and maybe not, and obviously that would be a ridiculous, "we need to call CPS" approach to parenting.

My husband chafed at the "permission" thing too, once upon a time. At one point we had a newborn and he was going out 4 nights a week, because being a parent wasn't going to change him. Um OK, but what if I went out four nights a week? We'd never be together and there would be one night a week with no one watching the baby? And honestly it took his entitlement reaching its natural conclusion (he had an affair) for him to wake up, and grow up, and to realize that it's about courtesy and adulting, not your big bad Mommy telling you what you can and can't do. In the aftermath of the affair we had a total reset where he really barely went out because he was trying to rebuild trust, and then slowly he added things back in, but only to a reasonable and mutually satisfying degree. And of course, now our kids are older and we can leave them alone if we have a scheduling conflict.[/quote]

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