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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Lazy Saturday at home. This morning, DH went to the gym and I stayed home with DC. I made breakfast, cleaned the kitchen, put away laundry, and cleaned the shower (while also taking a shower). Also helped DC with a craft project and facilitated dance music and got snacks. That's all fine -- zero resentment. DH was gone about 2 hours (about 90 minutes at gym plus getting there and back). When he got home, he took a shower, relaxed for a while (scrolling Twitter and doing some Duo Lingo while lying on the bed), and then made himself lunch. I made DC and myself lunch. Then DH decided he wanted to watch some This Old House, so he watched a couple episodes on his computer while DC and I hung out and played/listened to music. Around 2, I suggested DH take DC to the park. I have had a nice day, but was feeling like I needed a break. I also have a small work project I need to finish over the weekend, which DH knows about. So I said "Hey, maybe you two would like to go to the park, maybe take DC's bike and work on riding? I have some work to finish so I could use some peace and quiet in the house." Was it rude for me to volunteer DH to take DC out? Should I have approached that in another way? He is acting very put-upon about it. They didn't have to go to the park -- it was just a suggestion. I also would have left to go work at the coffee shop nearby, but it seemed like DC needed to get outside anyway.[/quote] Brutal honesty here. No offense intended. You sound controlling (I'm a male) and already I can tell you're husband is likely (internally) screaming and he likely dreads being around you. [/quote] What is controlling about wanting to share the childcare somewhat equally? If the DH had made his own plan to spend time with his child, OP would not have needed to say anything. OP's problem is that if she is direct, he gets mad. If she tries to be more indirect, he gets mad about that too. Only being a total doormat and letting him be lazy will keep the peace, but then she'll lose respect for him because he is lazy and ignores his child. There's really no solution other than the DH working on his character flaws.[/quote] Look at the OP. OP states the plan was to have a "lazy Saturday." But she procrastinated and didnt get her project done on time. She chased her husband and child out of the house after frittering away most of the day, even though she now says he really didnot have to go. She could have gone to a coffee shop instead. Instead of admitting that her planning and organizational skills are deficient, her narcissism requires her to blame her husband and demonize him. She pretends not to understand his annoyance at her lack of respect for his plans for the lazy day at home, all of which she told him were "fine." Does anyone here doubt that she was screeching at him at the top of her lungs when he told her "Fine, go to the coffee shop and I will stay at home with the child while you get your last minute work done?" [/quote] I definitely doubt it. She wanted her child to get some exercise and fresh air and work on bike riding skills, and to spend time with dad. Is that so terrible? She didn't fritter away the day, she did chores, made lunch, and took care of and spent time with her child. When the time came for her DH too spend time with his child and to give her a break just like she gave him, he acted like a pouty little baby. Perhaps she failed to anticipate exactly how lazy and selfish her DH could be, but even that is more of a DH failure than an OP failure. With men like this, you just can't win. They're too entitled and they'll never open their eyes to their own true character flaws.[/quote] False. She specifically said she wanted the child out of house so she could finish a work project she had left until the last minute. She also said if her husband wanted to stay home with the child while she worked at a coffee shop that would be fine too. It had nothing to do with her concern for the child, but you can believe whatever nonsense makes you feel good.[/quote] It wasn't the last minute, it was midafternoon. The last minute would be like, 11:59 PM. She said in the beginning that she thought it would be nice for the child to go outside and work on bike riding. I'm still perplexed why you think the DH gets a day off here. The default should be both parents do chores, spend time with the kid, and have a break. The default is not that the wife does everything and the man does nothing unless he feels like it.[/quote]
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