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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]No one on DCUM knows if your in-laws are just being polite or if they actually want you to stay there. If you really want to know the answer to that question, ask them. But I don't really see the point of trying to figure out if they want you there or are just being polite since you don't feel comfortable staying with them anyway. So why does it even matter whether they genuinely want you to stay or not?

Your number 1 priority in life is your kids' safety, right? That is non-negotiable. The beach house w/ the cousin is NOT a safe environment for your kids. It's not safe for 1 night or for longer. It's not safe if you have your own locking door or if you don't (because it sounds like the cousin has done unsafe things like throw heavy objects through glass which could happen at any time of day whether you are present and supervising or not, right?) So stop wringing your hands over whether or not you need to be involved in helping pick out a house that you're not comfortable staying at. Personally, I wouldn't even want to go on this trip at all. Way too much hassle to drive to the beach and visit this volatile, violent, explosive kid and then stay at a hotel. Take a different vacation with your nuclear family or maybe invite your MIL and FIL to go on a trip w/ you sometime. Don't participate in this mess at all.
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+1. This OP. Why would you want this on VACATION especially? It doesn’t matters what you ILs want. Do what’s best for your family.[/quote]

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