Reply to How to explain to Ils that parents don’t want to share Christmas

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Just share Christmas.  It isn’t a big deal. They can have a solo weekend any other time they want.  Families like to be together and it seems cruel to tell one set of parents they aren’t welcome. Like, why???[/quote]

Because it's a strain on the other parents. Some people don't like hosting large groups. It's very, very rude to show up unexpectedly on a holiday and it indicates that the ILs are likely oblivious boundary-tramplers and unpleasant to be around.  OP's parents want to focus on their grandkids, not host people they barely know and don't really like. That is why.[/quote]

From OP's description, her parents don't attend Christmas at her house because the ILs are present.  Some people just have a stingy spirit.  Just the way it is.[/quote]

Stingy is a gross way to describe OP’s parents. My parents prefer not to spend time with my IL’s because they are nosy, gossipy, and cheap. It’s not unreasonable for OP’s parents to not want to spend time with the IL’s (who lack social graces and wormed their way into the holiday festivities once year). [/quote]

OP, who has been back a few times, has not described her in-laws in this way.  She has described them as "huge Christmas people and they love sharing it with us and the kids."  So yes, in comparison to her in-laws, OP's parents have a stingy Christmas spirit.[/quote]

The IL's being described like that *doesn't* make the OP's parents stingy...[/quote]

They do not want to celebrate in their own daughter's home because the ILs are there.[/quote]

That doesn't make them stingy. People have different values and different relationships with their kids. It's not a crime that OP's parents want to celebrate one way and the ILs want to celebrate another way.[/quote]

OP and parents all sound stingy. Husband and kids should go do their own thing.[/quote]

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