Reply to How to explain to Ils that parents don’t want to share Christmas

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "How to explain to Ils that parents don’t want to share Christmas "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op - the question was never about disinviting anyone. They were never invited but they came anyway and assume they will do the same if we try to visit my parents again [/quote]

If that is what you anticipate, and your parents do not want uninvited guests to show up at Christmas, then it is entirely up to your parents to communicate that directly to the in laws, as the hosts, to the uninvited Christmas-crashers.  It is their house, their rules, their job to enforce their house rules.

Then they have been warned and if they show up anyway and are turned away at the door, they will know why.

Your parents need to be their own messengers of bsd Christmas tidings.  Not you, and certainly not your husband.  [/quote]

Wow, I would never, ever throw my parents or loved ones under the bus like that. ILs are not asking, they are imposing. They are in the wrong. If I knew my parents didn’t want a dynamic my ILs were creating, I would step up as a good daughter and run interference. I would invite them all to a joint family event at some other time, but make Christmas a special “turn” alternating years.[/quote]

It sounds like OP and her parents are the ones who have an axe to grind here.  They want to reject the in laws at Christmas but don't want to be blamed for it.  The OP and her parents are acting passive aggressively.  They  want the husband to reject his parents so he will be the bad guy.   This is not about the in laws behavior at all.   In fact, if this has happened before, and OP and her parents failed to mske it clear that the in laws were unwelcome by OPs parents on Christmas, the issue would have been resolved.  Instead, the in laws probably have no idea how OP and her parents feel.  Passive aggressive is a poor communications style.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics