Reply to DH won't use any inheritance for a house

Forum Index » Money and Finances

Reply to "DH won't use any inheritance for a house"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I'm in the exact same situation as your husband (down to the details -- my father has passed, received a portion of inheritance that I'm not touching, my mom is still alive, brother with schizophrenia, mom in denial.)

His mom needs to wake up and make plans for the brother so that the entire burden isn't on your husband, and also so the money isn't just wasted. Brother is likely eligible for disability, which will ease the financial burden for your husband. They can also figure out the housing situation -- can she set him up in a paid-for home? Group home? Maybe your husband can help her get realistic about options.

These conversations with my mom were EXTREMELY difficult. But they needed to happen. She ended up setting up a trust and will pass on her paid-off house to just him. And giving me access to money that is just for me. My brother still isn't on disability because he doesn't believe he is disabled (even though he has never worked), but I made it clear to both of them that i won't be responsible for him, but would help him navigate the channels that are available to him, if he wants that.

I'm sure your husband is so stressed out by this situation. Maybe, you can help him make sense of it and also map out clear boundaries so he doesn't just feel that he needs to be endlessly responsible and spend literally a million dollars.

[/quote]

Thank you, a voice of reason.

My sibling is disabled and lives off disability. A high six figure inheritance will be blown away in less than a decade in living expenses, he should not try to fund his brothers care with it. His brother will spend down his own savings, then be eligible for Medicare, and disability income and be self sustaining. The PAID OFF house is crucial - it doesn’t count against eligibility for disability. If your DH gives him money, suddenly he won’t be eligible for Medicare or disability and have to pay out of pocket.

Your DH is not responsible for his brothers care full stop.

I don’t think spending the inheritance on housing (which is a valid investment and no where equivalent to fancy vacations as a PP alluded to).

I do think he is trying to not commingle inheritance, which is a lousy thing to do if your parents are shelling out $80k/year for private school. WTF. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics