Reply to Explain to me the financial risk of SAH if partner is a high earner

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op, Im considering the same question - DH hit $2+M this year and I make $200k. We have three young kids. I have higher earning potential (could probably get to $350k), but then we would both have “big” jobs and no one would be with the kids. Obviously not what we want, so Im figuring out how to SAH and feel comfortable with the risk.

DH offered a post nup, if that would be helpful, as we have been discussing my fears about quitting my job. I appreciate that we can talk about it, and I truly think DH is not a jerk, so I think he would do right by the kids if we did divorce (they are in private school, have a nice lifestyle). However, while we have foot savings/retirement, we expect it to take 7 more years to hit our “number” for early retirement, so divorce before then would be challenging.

I think we have a strong marriage, I think we have good communication, and we have both been willing to work with a therapist in the past, so I don’t have active fears of divorce, but it’s hard to be financially dependent on someone else after having been independent for so many years.

I think I will end up quitting, and one of my requirements will be that all of DH’s income gets out in our joint account so I have access to the funds all the time, and that I manage all the money. I think DH will be fine with that, and my plan is to set aside an amount into my own account each month so I have my own nest egg.

We also have DH with life insurance in the amount of our “number” for retirement, so if he died unexpectedly I wouldn’t have to worry about working immediately (or maybe ever). DH also has disability insurance for 60% of his earnings.

DH LOVES his job. I wouldn’t even consider quitting if DH didn’t enjoy his work - he seriously get energy from working. I’m happy for him that he makes a lot doing something he loves. He doesn’t always love the long hours, but he loves the majority of the work he does.

Finally, we are living a nice lifestyle, but our expenses are around $350K per year (obviously need higher gross income to support that). So we continue to live below our means, so in the instance of divorce/disability/death, there is no need for a significant lifestyle shift. 
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What ? [b]His income is NOT coming to joint accounts already and you are considering to quit?[/b] Please, don’t ! And people who rely on life insurance - be mindful the beneficiary can be changed after divorce. Even if the court mandate him to maintain it (which is hard to get), he can change beneficiaries against that ruling. Ex wife will get embroiled in a lengthy dispute with insurance companies if he dies [/quote]

+1000000. I do not know why women even allow this.  This is a red flag.  [/quote]

DP (and an attorney). We have our paychecks deposited into our personal checking accounts and transfer to our family checking as needed to pay bills. (Literally I tell DH to transfer $X to pay for Amex or something.) I personally do it so I don’t have to have MY check deposited into a joint account and at risk if something were to happen. I’ve heard too many stories of men cleaning out joint accounts.

So basically women do it to protect their own paycheck.

I also have $20k in my own savings + two credit cards that I had before we married. So if catastrophe were to ever strike, I would have access to lord of cash/credit quickly.

And like PP, I make $200K+, could probably get to $350k if I really tried, and have DH who makes mid to high 7 figures. [/quote]

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