Reply to I made a huge mistake. Never should have Married DH. Now what?

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Reply to "I made a huge mistake. Never should have Married DH. Now what?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]People who are conditioned to not have boundaries, will never have the courage to build any. You have two options, one to protest and cause him to develop resentment for you or do as expected and develop resentment for him. They have the power to hold your relationship hostage at their whim, even if its not their intention because your husband needs their approval or live in guilt, shame and depression of not doing the role he is destined to do.

It would need lifetime of therapy to find insight and courage to undo that conditioning. Only a very patient, loving, understanding and emotionally strong spouse can survive without developing depression. [/quote]

I feel emotional reading this, because I know it is true.
In the past I have tried to practice detaching with love. But that is hard to sustain with a partner.
He has always wanted me to get on board with the family business of no boundaries and always seeking their approval.
He will have fleeting moments when he realizes the dynamic, he will acknowledge it and try and push back on them, usually agst something MIL wants.
If he pushes back, within a few hours or days, one of the siblings will call and berate him. Without fail, he reverses course.
I married a weak man with no spine. [/quote]

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