Reply to I made a huge mistake. Never should have Married DH. Now what?

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Reply to "I made a huge mistake. Never should have Married DH. Now what?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You and your husband definitely have major issues. You are making a mistake focusing on small things (like someone holding a baby) over the fundamentals. Fundamentally, your hsuband does not seem to respect you. [b]He thinks it is more important to make his mom happy than you. He is selfish enough to hold out for the perfect job over something that contributes to family.[/b]

The reality is that you have your own issues as well (we all do — no one is perfect).

The question is where do you go from here. Individual and marriage counseling might really help. But you have never responded that you are willing to try this. If you don’t want to try counseling, then your choices are to remain miserable or get a divorce.[/quote]

THIS. Exactly how I feel.
I will never proclaim to be a perfect person. But I consider my main family unit to be my spouse and child. That does not mean neglecting or cutting off my family of origin, but to me, it means making decisions that prioritize my spouse and child.
It means sometimes saying NO to my parents. It means considering my husband's opinion on a situation as more important than my mom's.
I am in individual counseling. We have done couple therapy before but ended it twice, with 2 different providers, because DH did not htink it was productive.
One counselor actually dared to use the enmeshed word and pointed out that dh did not have appropriate boundaries with his family. 
DH WALKED OUT of the appointment. It was mortifying.[/quote]

Well, you know the deal. At this point, you have to live like this or get divorced. While I think you are totally overreacting to small things like not holding the baby, I actually think you have much, much larger issues. You need to focus on them and not get caught up in the weeds of the small stuff. But you know your hsuband has zero interest in doing anything differently. So proceed accordinglyz[/quote]

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