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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am a therapist. This would have to be reported.

And I agree with the PP, this should not be your biggest concern.[/quote]

What? Because he grabbed the kid? God help our culture if we think it's better to lock up a parent or divorce him because he grabbed his kid too hard in a moment of frustration. Where is the compassion? Where is the proportionality? It really doesn't sound like he was trying to hurt the kid. Maybe he didn't realize how much force he was applying. Maybe he didn't realize the point at which he woudl leave a mark. And what's "a mark," anyway - a bruise? The slight discoloration in skin that comes from pressure or heat and then dissipates after a few seconds? As long as he now acknowledges that he squeezed too tight, I think everyone needs to get over it.[/quote]

+10000[/quote]

I am a different poster and agree with this. It’s legal to spank your kids. He needs better emotional regulation but this isn’t CPS-worthy IMO. And I am a mandated reporter and have reported to CPS before.[/quote]

Each state is different, but in DC and MD where I've been a mandated reporter, it's not legal to spank your kid, or otherwise physically discipline your kid (which is what this is about) in a way that leaves bruises.

A therapist or teacher or other professional could lose their career if something like this isn't reported.  [/quote]

Since this was neither spanking nor bruises, doesn’t sound like that’s at issue here.[/quote]

Generally when people say there were "marks" they mean bruises.  What other kind of marks from physical punishment (again, this is what this is) last long enough to be photographed?[/quote]

If people say bruise they mean bruise. If people say mark they likely mean a red mark that disappears after a little while with no bruising. [/quote]

JFC listen to yourself. You are really sitting here saying, "Oh well since you grabbed your kid hard enough to leave red marks, but not hard enough to bruise, it's fine!" It's not fine.

"Marks and bruises" is the term used in CPS training, which includes pictures of various marks and bruises so that people working for CPS can identify abusive contact when it happens. Grabbing or pinching a child hard enough to leave bruises is abuse that I personally substantiated multiple people for, even in the absence of other abuse. Because what he did IS abuse, at least in the District of Columbia, based on how the OP described it. Sorry you do not like facts.[/quote]

No one, NO ONE is saying it’s fine. Including the parents. You’re acting like there’s either good parents or parenting that should be reported to CPS, which is ridiculous. This is not okay, AND it doesn’t warrant a CPS investigation. It warrants counseling, parenting education, self improvement - lots of things. At least one of this the parents are pursuing. [/quote]

Not true, lots of commenters are saying it's fine.[/quote]

I don’t see a lot of commentators saying it’s fine. I do see a lot of people saying this was a one time incident, and the parents seem to want to rectify this. CPS isn’t actually going to rectify anything. Therapist, parenting classes, and working on behavioral changes will -which is what OP has said they want to do. So, the question seems more of: do you want to solve the problem for this child given these specific circumstances? Or do you want to make sure that everything is reported no matter what? Procedures and outcomes are two different things, but some comments seem to rest on the assumption that reporting is the unequivocally correct thing to do. CPS has a very mixed record for outcomes. [/quote]

Look at the comments saying "all parents loose their cool," "discipline has gone out the window," "oh I guess you can't do anything about a kid screaming inside," etc. No, they don't say it's a good idea, but the overall message in those comments is that it's something to be shrugged off.

And I agree with PP that based on what OP said this is very likely not a one-time incident.

I have no idea if it would be for the best if CPS was called, but I think that if you are a mandatory reporter, reporting probably is the unequivocally correct thing to do. My hunch is that CPS wouldn't really do anything. [/quote]

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