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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I (32F) hosted Thanksgiving yesterday for my dad's side of the family and not a single person offered to bring something. I am married and have two small kids ages 4 and 1.

Attendees included:
-My dad and his girlfriend (late 60s)
-My brother and his girlfriend (both 28)
-My other brother and his girlfriend (29/20)
-My uncle and his wife (early 60s)

My DH is great and tried his best to keep the kids entertained while I cooked all day. When everyone say down for the meal, people kept needing really specific things (garlic salt, a pitcher for water, hot sauce, cinnamon) so I'd repeatedly have to get up and go to the kitchen just as I was about to finally take my first bite every time to the point that I felt like it was a joke or an episode of "What Would You Do". At one point, I went in the kitchen to laugh so I didn't cry. Did no one notice I'm the only person of the bunch with small kids AND the only person that did any preparations, cooking, or clean up (DH helped with clean up)? Even when I was trying to clean up, my 4yo was hanging on my legs asking me to play Candyland with her. I finally said "DD, go ask your uncles or Papa to play with you" so she did and they said there was an awkward silence followed by one "maybe later".

I guess I'm just shocked. [b]Maybe I should have delegated[/b] and said X can you bring Y, but I felt like the mistreated help and it's still bothering me today.[/quote]

You didn't prepare well enough.  People can't read minds.  If you want them to bring something you can't presume they know that or that they have the manners to offer.  In this case you have a family of clueless men who didn't offer and outside-the-family girlfriends who are expecting to be guests which is likely exactly what they were told they'd be.  If you didn't want to provide everything, you need to specify a potluck.  Otherwise accept the full duties of hosting.  If you can't do those duties (too expensive, not enough time, not enough space, whatever the reason) then you either don't offer to host or respectfully decline when asked.

In the moment you could also say "I just sat down to eat.  The cinnamon is in the cabinet above the oven."    [/quote]

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