Reply to Young AC tells friends that dad is a recovering alcoholic

Forum Index » Adult Children

Reply to "Young AC tells friends that dad is a recovering alcoholic "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]She is still healing. Her anger is indicative that she is in place of blame. When healing begins there is anger and also compassion, forgiveness (for self and others). She is on her way and I hope she continues but it sounds like she is barely 1/2 way through the storm. Give her time. Maybe a few more years. In the meantime focus on self care, compassion with boundaries, and same for you partner. [/quote]

Healing from what? Don’t agree with her or have compassion because it just feeds into her delusions. Tell her to focus on being positive and don’t even justify or engage any talk of drinking, alcoholism, or genes.[/quote]

OP here. I'm not entirely sure what she's healing from.  But either way she's unhappy.  She told me it was selfish of me to have children when we have generational trauma in the family.  She told me people shouldn't pro-create if they have trauma.  And only emotionally healthy stable people from good solid families should pro-create.  I told her that this wasn't a eugenics society that we live in.  But she didn't know what I meant.   I do encourage her to look on the bright side of life and all the gifts and silver linings.  She thinks I'm being silly saying that.  [/quote]

I'm sorry, but let her know that every family has some level of generational trauma, and if "not having any" was the criteria for having children, then humanity would have gone extinct a long time ago.

I had similar issues with one of my AC and it was so distressing. Everything was my fault...not making enough money, hates job, apt isn't posh enough, friends are living more comfortable, why can't i help more, I'm not supportive enough, I favor younger (minor) children, dating issues....I was to blame for all of it. There were even a few "if you don't help me with this, then my life won't be worth living" ultimatums. It got to the point where it was just too toxic, so I drastically minimized our interactions....which was the best thing I could have done. Eventually AC got their act together, became accountable, matured a lot, and started seeing life from a different angle. Things are much better...even pleasant now, but it took me having to put my foot down for us to get here.

Remember this OP, abuse takes many forms, but you don't have to accept it...not from friends, kids, your spouse, siblings, parents, bosses, neighbors....anyone. Maybe there is more to the story than you're sharing with us, and maybe there is less to the story than your AC is sharing with her friends, but maybe group family therapy can help reconcile the different versions so your family can get to a better place. Good luck to you :)[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics