Reply to Young AC tells friends that dad is a recovering alcoholic

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It sounds like she’s very unhappy for whatever reason and blaming you, her parents. If your description of your Dh’s drinking is true, she has no clue what alcoholism really is or what children of alcoholics actually have to deal with. At some point, she’ll get called out on it and will look like a fool.

You can’t control what she says or what her “memories” are, or how she reacts to them. It’s hurtful, but maybe you need to distance yourself. Don’t even get roped into the crazy conversations. Hopefully she can find whatever she thinks she’s missing in life—but she has to do that on her own.

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OP here. I think I'll set some boundaries too per some of these suggestions.  I've been roped into too many dump sessions with her.  As far as DH he has never told her she had it good compared to him.  He doesn't want to engage in a contest if who had it worse.  I do see she has low self esteemi think but in some ways she's very arrogant. She'll tell people about say her friends or colleagues and emphasize how everyone loves her.  I personally think that's weird.  That is why I suspected narcissism BC she always has to have validation and likes administration
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OP here. Typo. Admiration.  If someone says something complimentary about me I try to accept compliment gracefully but always feel a little awkward or I move on quick.  But Ive seen my daughter receive compliments (as she should sometimes,,), and I see her almost puff up and I can see she basks in it.  I do like receiving compliments too but more enjoy the glow of the compliment behind closed doors sp
So to speak.  I don't like receiving a lot of attention in front of others.  [/quote]

Your daughter sounds flailing and misguided in what sounds like an attempt to separate herself from you and her father but shere there is smoke and all. She sounds damaged. But make no mistake no one survives what your husband did without being plenty damaged themselves. He may not see it that way and you may not either.

Perhaps he developed a narrative not unlike that of your daughters. Maybe he’s a narc. Who knows maybe you are likewise really damaged yourself from your family of origin. There is a reason you were drawn to and married the AC of an alcoholic.

Eh hard to say. But lots of unhappy families and people out there and they are all unhappy in the same way. Nothing you can do about it. Accept it and carry on. If she comes back she comes back if not some degree of family splintering was inevitable given the dynamics of your FU-FOOs

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