Reply to Everyone's Too Busy to Be Friends

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Lived in the DMV for a number of years. Our kids were small, then teens. It was very difficult to make friends, period. The entire time. I tried at first, but over time realized that the people are too busy striving -- for lack of a better word. If you do not have something offer them that they want, they move on. That thing might be free babysitting, a professional connection that gets them ahead, a side hustle customer/someone they can get to buy from them, someone with trade skills who could be useful as free work around their house (fix a faulty sink, install a new light fixture), etc.

Sorry to break it to you, but DMV folks don't just create time for other people unless those people serve them in some way. It is a culture that uses people.[/quote]

Nailed it.  The locals keep arms distance from the newcomers.  See above - though I put it way too nicely.

OP, have you met anyone outside your neighborhood?  Maybe doing an activity that you like? I say this because friend families are great when the kids are younger, but inevitably the kids grow apart, then one side ends up trying to force the kids being friends, which of course, does not work.

Find an activity that you like, and you will find your people.

Many people in this geographic area pride themselves on being "introverts", when in reality, they are just socially awkward/inept. If you are more outgoing, find other people who have that in common with you.

[/quote]

I have never encountered this in 15 years of living in this area. Maybe because I have no useful skills. :) But neither do most people i know. Okay, we have a friend who is a great bike mechanic, but I would never ask him to fix our bikes.

We are fairly busy with kids and jobs. Always happy to do stuff on weekends but it's true that it does have to be at specific times, because the kids (lower elementary) have swim lessons and sometimes other activities, religious school, play dates and parties with existing friends. We don't do anything on weeknights because kids have after-school activities and by the time we do dinner, homework, get them into bed, and get the chores done, it's easily 9:30 pm. And frequently one or both of us have to do catch-up work - our jobs are flexible and allow us to sign off at 4 or 5 and hop back on later after kids are in bed, but that does tend to take up the evening. I think we are probably the boring people OP is thinking of, but I don't know how to live any other way. I am open to meeting friends but I'm not a book club, wine drinking, room parent kind of person, and I'm at the stage where I barely have time for myself anyway so I am not looking to make friends just for me - I'm happy to socialize with parents while the kids play at the playground, but I'm unlikely to talk politics with people I don't know very, very well.[/quote]

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